Easy ways to develop effective communication skills if you have social anxiety

73% of the population suffers from glossophobia or the fear of public speaking. It’s pretty common, but most people can speak easily once they are off the stage.

However, for people with social anxiety disorder the fear doesn’t stop. Even when we try, our minds are in such an anxious state it makes effective communication very difficult.

Many self-improvement advisors would say communication is a skill and you need to practise. This is easier said then done, because we commonly stumble over our words, our mouth goes dry and we just can’t find the words at all.

It is such a problem that a lot of social phobes will use alcohol to relax and voice their opinions. It’s one of the reasons why 20% of people with SAD will develop a drinking problem at some point in their life.

Communication is a skill, one that many socially anxious people haven’t developed. However, there are strategies you can implement to have a conversation without choking.

Remember the basics

A tired mind is a confused mind. Have you ever stayed up so long you can barely pull a sentence together? Verbal perception and linguistic comprehension decrease after missing just one night of sleep.

Sleep deprivation also makes you perceive a social interaction more negatively than you normally would. If you suffer from insomnia, do whatever it takes to get enough sleep, listen to soothing sleep music, go to bed, and get up at the same time everyday and get some sun during the day.

If all else fails and it’s an option visit, your doctor and see if you can see a sleep specialist to determine if it’s a sleep disorder that’s keeping you up.

Your brain also needs plenty of water. Hydration is vital to keeping your brain functioning properly, after all it’s 75% water! Being dehydrated can have an affect on your awareness and mood influencing your ability to speak clearly.

To ensure you’re getting enough water it would be a good idea to reduce caffeine intake since it’s a diuretic. Caffeine is a stimulant it will activate your sympathetic nervous system and since your body is on edge your mind will follow.

People with panic disorders are more sensitive to caffeine, just one cup of coffee can increase their anxiety.

Getting enough exercise can help with anxiety, it mimics the state your body would be in during stress (excessive sweating, hyperventilating, dry mouth, shortness of breath and hand tremors). Getting used to being in this state can help tremendously on elevating your stress tolerance training you to handle anxiety inducing situations.

When under stress people tend to hold their breath, so paying attention to your breathing can help control anxiety. A technique called the physiological sigh (2 quick breaths in and one out like a sob) can help calm your system down and activate the restful parasympathetic nervous system quickly.

Focusing on your breathing rather than your anxiety can also help you think more clearly, so you can find your voice and communicate easily.

Writing can help you become a better speaker

Writing can improve your verbal skills, by seeing your thoughts on paper you can see in what way you phrase things and edit them to be more concise. Doing this daily will make this mental editing a habit and come across in your speech.

For example, by writing I realized I tend to say the same things over and over again just in different ways. Now when I speak, I’m much more conscious of it.

It can also help you to put your frequent thoughts into words, so it becomes easier for you to talk about them in a social setting.

Practise speaking for an audience and develop effective communication skills

A common tip for socially anxious and shy people is to join Toastmasters. It’s a great way to practise speaking in front of groups of people and getting advice on how to improve.

However, for some going to toastmasters may be to intimidating or there are no available clubs in your area. Especially since most group gatherings now a days are prohibited due to Corona virus.

A great solution the Virtual Toastmasters app you can download on your android or iPhone. Make a recording of a speech and send it to the community; They will give you feedback and tips in a safe and supportive environment.

Practising talking to a group of people will make it less intimidating and help you develop verbal skills.

Tricks to find your voice and speak with confidence

Anxiety makes your thoughts race and creates this sense of urgency; You have this desire to get everything out quickly so you can stop talking.

But it’s better for you to pause for a moment to collect your thoughts. In fact, when speaking in front of a crowd pausing creates this air of authority; Pauses keeps the uhs and ahs down to a minimal making you look more confident.

Body language can also help how you’re perceived and how you feel about yourself. Stand tall, chin up and shoulders back. This not only makes you look confident it will make you feel confident as well.

As with any social interaction try to maintain good eye contact; If this is hard for you, look at their forehead people can’t tell the difference. And don’t forget to smile; This is why I like video meetings because I can look at myself and know if I’m in resting bitch face mode.

If you think you need help speaking more clearly, you can hire a speech coach. If you don’t have any in your area or it’s out of your budget, try an app call Orai for public speaking. It records your voice and gives you feedback on tone of voice, pace clarity, it’s a virtual speech coach basically.

The way we speak is such a vital part of human interaction. It would be worth your time to work on this because the more confident you sound the more positively people will react to you and in turn help improve your social anxiety.

Conclusion

- Most people suffer from public speaking which is a form of social anxiety.

- Remember to drink plenty of water, get enough sleep and exercise to make conversation easier.

- Write to help you develop your thoughts and refine the way you talk.

- Apps such as Virtual Toastmasters and Orai for public speaking can help you improve your speaking skills.

How do you deal with anxiety when speaking to people? Tell me in the comments!